Every week brings us hilarity, awe, and chaos in equal measure.
Yesterday was a busy one across the country, with important games dotting the landscape. And perhaps nowhere did the mania descend quite like it did in the SEC. ICYMI is here to document the funnies, the amazing, and the most outlandish from Saturday.
I’ve often said that I wouldn’t piss on a Vol if he were on fire. Texas record-setting defensive lineman Colin Simmons notched a school-record five sacks yesterday against Faizon Brandon, where he had the chance to test that maxim. But he failed…to our delight.
It was a bad day to be under center, where the headhunters were out in force.
From the clean…
To the profoundly dirty and dangerous…
And it was made all the worse by the clown celebrating and grinning on the sideline about a play that cost his team 15 yards and got him ejected. I would also be remarkably surprised if the Big 10 doesn’t sit him for several games as well. And USC will most certainly be under pressure to discipline Stephens. I still can’t believe that happened.
In Oxford, they say they’ve never lost a tailgate. In Knoxville, they’ve never lost a white trash competition. These are the worst bars and this is some of the worst MC work in human history…and as an added bonus, the “rapper” was arrested for kiddy diddling too too, so that’s another one on your Vawl bingo card.
Mercy, that’s woeful. Perhaps that’s why the GOAT was there to goad the East Tennessee degenerates.
For all the hype of the SEC matchups, there were quite a few blowouts and duds. Tennessee/Texas was a stinker unless you wanted to watch defensive linemen for three hours, LSU/A&M was a blowout, as were Bama/South Carolina, Ole Miss/Florida and UGA/Oklahoma. And perhaps no one came under more deserved friendly fire than the SEC’s most awful signal callers: Marcel Reed, John Mateer, and LaNorris Sellers. And another was added to the list after being exposed by the Longhorns, Faizon Brandon.
And there were some amazing hands on display as well.
And, finally, it took four weeks, but Michigan finally got their comeuppance, leading Iowa by five then getting torched by a YOLO ball between six defenders, followed by one of the nicest desperation backshoulder fades you’ll ever see with time expiring.
That it happened in Ann Arbor was all the more delicious.
Alright, post yours below. What were your memorable moments from Saturday?
This is an L for the ages.
Some goooooood laughs outchea, Erk. While it was great to see us light the chickens up, I experience a noticeable satisfaction seeing Meesh get fucked over or just simply beaten. Yes, I have taken our recent retarded history against that school personally.
Michigan deserved that. Every painful, flukish second.
Karma is a fickle mistress. Those scumbags found out last night against Iowa. May they continue to shit the bed throughout the remainder of the regular season.
Return of the TITS!!!
“Alabama is relegated to pillaging SMU for three-star players.”
Matt Moscano with the greatest L take in history.
Hope they play that clip on repeat around the facilities during the bye week + ls-who week.
Most Points scored by Offense through 4 Games since 1936:
2018:
– 215 / 54 drives (3.98 points per drive)
2020:
– 194 / 45 (4.31 PPD)
2022:
– 193 / 46 (4.20 PPD)
2026:
– 192 / 42 (4.57 PPD)
That’s amazing. I didn’t think it would be on par with 2020, but they could wind up smashing those records.
“by offense” is a typo. I didn’t take out NOTs.
Took out end of half / garbage time clock killing drives.
What’s keeping it from being absolutely nuclear is the stupid clock change rules.
This is a great data pull, man.
I hope he gets anal probed in prison…..and that’s for the @rap@. The child diddling thing is even worse.
Ill give Brandon a pass for this week. Bro was being harassed all night.
What a thing beauty. Glad to finally see the TE’s really getting involved in the passing game.