NSFW crashouts, hot takes, and fans behaving badly.
Welcome back to a special two-part Meltdown! There were so many painful losses, so many duds, so much bed-wetting, that we couldn’t contain it in just one post. We’ll still have the regular Meltdown for you on Tuesday, including the SEC heavy hitters, like Florida and Auburn. But for now, enjoy this one.
Disclaimers follow: The Meltdown frequently features naughty language or imagery that is offensive, beyond the pale, replete with -isms and -ists and -phobias, and other displays of inhumanity that are NSFW. If morons like that bother you, here’s an alternate site to consider. Otherwise, you’ve been warned.
On to the crashouts.
Meat Chicken
Things are tough all over in Ann Arbor, as Michigan dropped yet another game, this time to Minnesota, losing the Little Brown Jug, and giving the Gophers their first home field win in this series in half a century. Even worse, the team looks like it’s regressing from week to week.
Fuck this sorry ass team and coaching staff. Hell at this point bring SherrONLYFANS Moore back, at least his team showed some sort of fight
Burn it all fucking down. This is absolutely terrible. And fuck calling your last 2 timeouts. Absolute pussy shit from this program. Walk the fuck off the field and lose with some grace.
We can at least admit it: we should be 2-3.
Are we sure Bryce isn’t legally retarded?
This type of shit never happens to Ohio State. They had one year in my memory where they went 6-6 during an interim head coaching season. Right back to 12-0 the year after.
4th n 5 game on the line and bryce throws it away. TE was wide fucking open. He always stares his receiver down and throws it no matter what. Can we start Carr already??? Bryce is a fucking RB. And than has the audacity to smile????? Check if he’s betting now
I have 7 month old twins. There’s no free time in this house. I work all week looking forward to 3 hours of watching Michigan football on the weekend. It’s all I have. And I hate that 3 hours.
God damn, do we ever miss Connor Stallions.
Only reason we won’t benched this retarded nigga is because of how much he got paid.
Have we considered cheating again?
Announcer mentioned they keep trying to run that stretch, when it only worked at Utah cuz their agile, quick lineman. Said maybe we should adjust to the personel. Even announcers are trying to help. We fucked
This nigga more retarded than corky falling from the third floor of his grannys
Our Offensive philosophy is (farting noises)
DUDE ALMOST TOSSED 4 INTERCEPTIONS ON THE LAST DRIVE!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!
iT’s rYaN dAy’S fAuLt!!!
Nucca has to be betting check this mf MGM
Bryce Underwood’s NIL contract: $12 million. Minnesota’s ENTIRE FOOTBALL ROSTER: $18 million
Suck my crank you fucking choking fags
nigga out here grinning and coonin it tf up get this mf out my tl and off my screen
done with this homo
Peen State
That was a straight-up calamity. After chasing off all of Franklin’s good players, new PSU HC Matt Campbell brought in a ton of Iowa State players, and it’s going about like you’d expect in the Big 10 — Northwestern gashed the Lions for over 400 yards…on the ground, while the Penn State offense is in a pillow fight with Michigan to be the Big 10’s worst. Five games in, and the fans are ready to riot.
Maybe it wasn’t James Franklin..
We should’ve went for Josh Heupel. Or just kept Blue Blood Franklin. This is ridiculous. I’m selling my season tickets, divorcing my wife, and moving to Thailand to pursue an amateur kickboxing career. I just can’t take this anymore
WE ARE…an embarrassment
We were 3-6 last season but yet this feels far worse
Absolutely disgusting display of a football team, Matt Campbell is trash and this program has turned to shit. Fuck all this success with honor crap it doesn’t bring in the elite recruits and it doesn’t win football games. Absolutely atrocious
If this week couldn’t already get worse yall do this shit!
Maybe ask Northwestern if we can play 10 minutes quarters in the 2nd half. I mean, rather than have them rush for 500 yards.
Fold the program. We are a wrestling only school moving forward.
Northwestern ran for 413 yards. That’s not a defense, that’s a suggestion.
Penn State got smoked by Northwestern and shit their pants…
The Northwestern Wildcats blew out the visiting Penn State Nittany Lions 34-13 to cap a joyous new Ryan Field opening celebration. Penn State looked like shit.
Penn State lost to Northwestern last year too, maybe Penn State just fucking sucks?
Ugh, can’t believe we’ve got 7 more years of this. With all the debt Penn State is in over the stupid stadium renovations, they’ll never buy out Campbell’s contract lol. Buckle up, it’s gonna suck for a loooong time.
northwestern can be good and penn state can also be dog shit these are both not mutually exclusive
This is the exact offense we ran in high school over 30 years ago. And Northwestern has already put it on tape. Penn State should be fucking embarrassed by the results of this game.
I’m gonna go smoke and eat ice cream, maybe cry, we’ll see.
Wow I thought I’d never say this but…… can we bring Franklin back?
WE ARE…Iowa State East
Penn State had the ball for 23:55. Northwestern had it for 36:05. Northwestern rushed for 413 yards. I would like someone to explain what the actual f*ck we are doing.
PSU hired Campbell to get us back to Penn State football…wow…mistake…over 400 yds rushing! By Northwestern! Fuck Campbell
We’re genuinely watching the death of Penn State football in real time
Basically unwatchable. PSU is fucked for 5-7 years
just forfeit this is some of the worst shit ive seen in a minute
You niggas SUCK!!! James Franklin is lol-ing at you cucks. You got basically ran over by NW. A school for nerds. We are a bum ass 3rd tier program
We fired a coach after losing to Northwestern just to hire a coach that lost to Northwestern even worse.
Bad enough to embarrass Jerry Sandusky
Miscellaneous Meltdowns
Sometimes, an entire fanbase doesn’t meltdown, but there are some gems out there. And, even in victory, there is criticism to be had and meltdowns to be made. We celebrate you, irrational fan.
Brilliant move by Kirk Ferentz & company not showing Ohio State the playbook knowing we’ll likely see them again in the CFP.
Settling for FGs. Giving up big plays on D. Missing tackles. Pulling starters.
Call me naive, but I was genuinely surprised that Mississippi State fans thought they were actually going to beat Alabama. Oh, but they did, and oh, were they pissed. And, in the case of a few fans, and a salty-ass headcoach, Clanga was still negging Alabama after getting B2A for four hours on national television.
Listen to this juvenile shit. He’s lucky Alabama didn’t hit 70…which they easily could have done, even before clearing the bench in 4th Quarter. I’m glad ‘Bama went in dry on this fuck. But, with Lebby coming from Baylor, and being implicated in several of their rape cover-ups, that may be an inappropriate analogy, huh? I’ll let other people make it…and a few did.
"We spotted them 14 points. They didn't really do anything spectacular to get those points, we kind of handed it to them."
Anthony Evans and Jeff Lebby spoke about Mississippi State's first quarter turnovers against Alabama: pic.twitter.com/WhN9jKMafS
Everything sucks. Man, just coaching malpractice today: The Jeff Lebby Experience
Lebby had a chance to really build some credit with the fan base. Instead, he shit the bed and failed miserably. Now, we’re back to “wait and see” every week going forward.
We are quitters. Waving the white flag and putting in backsups in the third quarter in a 19-point game. We’re pussies and it starts at the top.
National outcry for “Jane Doe” and the Cornell 7. Yet no one bats an eye to the roughly 60,000 raped watching the bulldogs at Davis Wade today.
Always turn Ass when we play big opponents
If anyones got that number for the national rape hotline it’s Coach
Did Kamario get paid off by the boosters to lower his transfer valuation?
You think our dumbass head coach will figure out games are won at the line of scrimmage…
I’m sure glad Lebby invited all those recruits to watch us get put in a body bag.
I’m Jeff Lebby I’m lining up in shotgun to hand the ball off at the goal line durr pic.twitter.com/RGkqOkgF5I
IF yOu WeRe BeTtEr ThAn LebBy, YoUd Be ThE cOaCh… This is the dumbest response ever. I wish I could find a job to pay me $4.35 million a year to have a 38% success rate. Hope you dont have the same opinion on doctors…
Is it a flu or a leg? The excuse mentality is why we will continue to be behind the best of the SEC
Jeff Lebby leaving a lot to be desired of a head coach out here today. DeBoer spinning him like a top.
Positive: no one will poach lebby. Negative: State is stuck with him
They’re not that good. We’re not that bad. Unfortunate the world will never know.
There are high school seniors graduating next spring who have only known a Bama belt to ass. 17 straight is insane. I’m sick of these crimson fuckers.
Kamario Taylor is absolutely transferring at the end of the season.
We are fucking frauds.
If you’re gonna get an electric atmosphere for an 11am game, the least you could do is actually show up for the game
This game isn’t going the way I was hoping it would but exactly the way I was expecting it to go.
Lebby should have SMART football and DUMB football practice Monday. Maybe just watch film. “This is what dumbassess do and this is what smart players do”. Unreal
We often overlook the Pacific Northwest’s football tradition, and forget that there have been periods in time where Washington was a national player. I was pleasantly surprised by their passion yesterday after losing to USC, and with the impressive anger that followed. Well done, hippies.
He lost to a bald headed davy crockett cosplayer. jedd fisch you will pay for your sins
Put Demond’s little ass in a mortar and launch him to Louisiana please
Why did we try to stop Demond from transferring? What are we doing?
Demond Williams Jr. is good enough to keep you in games but absolutely awful enough to lose you games. Whatever amount we are paying him in NIL above $0 is too much.
Remember there was a time when we had Kalen DeBoer and were playing for a national title. The only two years Pat Chun cared about football more than volleyball.
CASTRATE JEDD FISCH!
Fisch just doesn’t win these games ever. We had our Don James in Kalen DeBoer and we completely screwed that up.
CONGRATULATIONS UW YOU HAVE WON THE ASS OFF YOU ARE THE ASSIEST OF THEM ALL
I would rather slowly tighten a vice on my testicles than watch another Jedd Fisch coached football game.
An embarrassment for everyone involved. Fire Jedd Fisch, get rid of Demond and burn it all down, no excuses anymore I’m done, team and coaching staff is filled with clowns, fuck this team and someone better be fired tomorrow morning fuck this shit. Fire everyone
I’m hearing some disturbing things about some Jedd Fisch tweets from 2012
send Demond Williams to Guantanamo Bay
Riley didn’t outcoach Fisch so much as Fisch “under-coached” Riley. This game was not about who was better, but who was worse.
FREE ME FROM THIS DISASTER PLEASE JUST FREE ME JUST FREE ME IM DONE WITH THIS
We have entered the Nebraska Doom Loop
Trying to figure out how Fisch is a great recruiter when his 3rd season team just got beat up by Minnesota. Small and weak is no way to go through life son.
at the urinal starting a “FIRE JEDD FISCH” chant and everyone swinging their dicks in unison
Chief Illini-Dreck
After winning 20 games in two years, the Illini find themselves in the bottom four of the Big 10, and yesterday’s loss to Purdue sealed the deal: First Big 10 win — hell, first P4 win, for the Boilermakers in almost four years, and it was on the road, at a sold-out Illini Stadium…on homecoming. LOL. They weren’t even that angry, after years of Bielema’s shenanigans: they just want basketball season.
Embarrassing. But at least we’ve got that huge video board so we can watch missed tackles in higher resolution.
nice to see the guys laughing and dancing on the sideline while they’re getting their asses whipped by Purdue at homecoming. This isn’t a serious team.
Brad Underwood save me
this is the worst loss in college football this year. Ho-Li-Fuk
holy hell, Bert…fucking Purdue…at home?!?
Fuck off with the fucking invisible cunts u got on field sumwhere.
Final Four or bust.
Nobody cares about a FUCKING scoreboard when this is the team that plays under it. Just saying.
Brad Underwood better cut down the nets after this shit. Please tell me this is his Faustian pact.
I want off. I’m…just done.
Ew, Pig Sooie
For the 708th morning, Arkansas football will wake up without a win over an SEC team. A perpetual mediocrity in the SEC for 30 years, bolstered by some good runs under Nutt and Petrino, the Hogs have botched their last three hires and are now staring at an endless void of losses — losses not helped by only spending $25M on football, and losses that came last night in the form of long-time SWC nemesis, Texas A&M. The 34-7 pasting by a mid Aggies team left the fanbase confused about their emotions. But one thing was clear: The SEC’s craziest fan base felt those emotions intensely. They made me genuinely LOL at times.
What exactly did we think was going to happen. We haven’t been truly serious about football in years and years and years. We’ve spent decades living off nostalgia, making excuses, lowering expectations, and celebrating the occasional good season like it proves we’re still some sleeping giant. We’re not.
5 games in but this is the worst Arkansas football team in history
Fuck this fucking school
I absolutely loathe you. What did I do in a past life to deserve being a fan of this horrendous program? Just dissolve the entire team and put the funds towards basketball.
Arkansuck Razorass football.
Well. I still love you Razorback football. I always will. But hey, did you guys see Billy‘s dunk last night?! it’s basketball season
We hate you
I asked AI to generate a picture of what the next Arkansas football coach should look like. pic.twitter.com/TX4G1rP4s5
I hate watching this offense, man It’s not just that it’s bad. It’s bad in a distinctly non-Arkansas way: they cannot run the football.
Oh well, it felt nice to beat a G6 school with a backup QB for a week.
Arkansas has punters who can’t punt, kickers that can’t kick, d-linemen who can’t get pressure, LBs who can’t stop the run, DBs who can’t defend the pass, o-linemen who can’t run block, RBs who can’t run, WRs who can’t catch (besides Chris Marshall), QBs who can’t throw and coaches who can’t coach. Otherwise, the Hogs are in great shape! #WPS
Terrible play calling. Terrible execution. Terrible coaching. Terrible play. The Arkansas experience.
I don’t see a reason to watch another arkansas razorback football game this year.
I don’t even care. Why would anyone care?
Well… We suck. No doubt about it… We suck. Somehow, we made a bad A&M team look good.
Everybody calm down! It’s one game against an elite SEC team! We are fine. Just take out a loan, donate it to the football program, financially ruin your family, blindly worship Hunter Yurachek, and be a good little 2 win cuck every year. Am I doing this right?
End the Nightmare.
I still see a pathway to 6 wins…. Over the next 4 years
We fucking suck and our coach is a mute who wears t-shirts to games. Not winning formula
Complete and utter garbage.. a total disgrace to the state of Arkansas. Fuck you mothafuckers, we’re getting fed up.
Why are people getting upset and mad ?!!! We should ALL be used to it by now. It’s downright comical at this point.
You guys actually suck. Like there’s nothing I could even say that would hurt y’all
We’ll be back Tuesday with our regular Meltdown. I’m giving this as an early treat to y’all instead of the SEC Power Poll, because there were just so damn many tasty, bitter losses this weekend to celebrate.
So, revel in the misfortunes of others, even as we know we are one bad game away from being featured on these pages.
I’m Erik and I help run this place. Decade-plus editor/editor in chief at SBNation’s Roll ‘Bama. Lawya by day. Recovering black metal musician. Member AP, FWAA, USBWA. Voter: Maxwell, Outland, Nagurski, Outland and others. It’s not racist if it’s funny.
#RapeChadMorris is unhinged by any standard. LOL
You’d think Arkansas fans are used to this by now. Apparently not.
How many times can you get kicked in the dick and still be this passionate? I admire them, even as I fear them.
I respect their loyalty but damn.
I feel calling Arkansas the craziest fan base in the SEC after they lost to a team that has cult practice a bit…. wrong?
but they aren’t this unhinged about everything like Hog Fan
Yup, sounds like ped state fans
“I wanna be the win at all costs team like Michigan.”
Beautiful hate!
Amazing!!