NSFW crashouts, hot takes, and fans behaving badly.
Welcome back to another two-part Meltdown! There were so many painful losses, so many duds, so much bed-wetting, that we couldn’t contain it in just one post. We’ll still have the regular Meltdown for you on Tuesday, including Nebraska, Aggie and LSU. Oh damn, LSU.
Disclaimers follow: The Meltdown frequently features naughty language or imagery that is offensive, beyond the pale, replete with -isms and -ists and -phobias, and other displays of inhumanity that are NSFW. If morons like that bother you, here’s an alternate site to consider. Otherwise, you’ve been warned.
Flurh-Duh
Welp, looks like the Gators are not, in fact, 2019 LSU reborn. They are closer to 2006 Alabama. South Carolina went B2A on Gata in the swamp, on homecoming, on Steve Spurrier recognition day. Awful coaching, worse defense, dogshit offensive line, impotent QB play. Yes, South Carolina has talent. But not “38-19 on the road” talent. This is shaping up to be a genuinely putrid Gator team.
I think this team is still used to Billy’s “it’s ok you tried” mentality
Forced to pay $18 for a hotdog and $22 for a beer to watch dog shit football year after year. I don’t think any of this reaction is unjustified
You can tell a competent coach quickly, especially in this day and age. We do nothing well and are the most penalized team in the conference. His side of the ball is atrocious. The 4 wins are only thanks to Buster and scheming around this trash o-line.
Look at what Chesney is doing at UCLA. Obviously we all know about Cignetti. And even to a lesser degree, Will freakin Stein has Kentucky looking like a much more solid, reliable football program than the Gators. So yes in this day and age, quick turnarounds are absolutely feasible under the right new hire.
Nut up or shut up, Sunbelt Sumrall
Turns out that when Baugh is stopped…….Philo sucks
Why is everyone pretending we didn’t get absolutely man handled at home by the 2nd worst team in the conference with a dead in the water coach? This is the exact time you need a fanbase to be toxic, it’s beyond unacceptable
Our OL is worse every game, and gets worse with every play in every game
It’s not that they lost 2 games…it’s how they lost 2 games. The fans could accept 2 losses if they were hard fought losses, by a single score…they can’t accept they got belt taken to ass by teams that usually couldn’t take a belt to their own ass.
No matter how loud we yell, Gator football is the best in the land; it isn’t going to make the OL block better
Sumrall said if we don’t make a bowl game he’s going to jump off the roof of the Swamp. RIP Jon Sumrall. 1982-2026.
Just end this Sumrall experiment sooner than later. We don’t need years 3 or 4.
Sumrall showing no emotion. Looks dejected. It’s only game 6.
Boys remembered Philo was a backup ACC QB and started stacking the box
So let me get this straight after yesterday. Sumerall is ass and Napier 2.0. Philo is ass and we need to bench him. The team is ass and the last 4 weeks mean nothing.
Bargain bin OL and the worst corners/nickels in UF history
He don’t have an answer for shit, he got punched in the mouth back to back weeks and bent down to put his tampon back in twice.
Lmao entire team are dumb monkeys
I witnessed 4 years of Billy Napier. Somehow, I’ve never felt lower than I do today. Two straight weeks of EMBARRASSING performances after being undefeated and ranked in the top 10. Fastest I think I’ve ever seen a team get humbled. Holy… We are still ass.
I almost compared Sumrall to Billy Napier but then I remembered Napier never lost to Shane Beamer.
Same shit, different cast
absolutely fucking horrible bums. I WISHHHH I was a player getting paid millions to get fucking bitched across the field all game
“we want georgia” no the fuck we don’t.
Ole Miss was our Super Bowl, them boys were juiced up for one game and we got lucky. Just a bunt of mid players runnin around. D Got cooked by the worst passing QB in the country.
Should be illegal to watch that performance
6 touchdowns given up against Missouri, 5 for South Carolina…. trending in the right direction…
Defense played like a bunch of fucking twinks out there, Got Fucking pounded hard!
Demote us to MAC smh
I pray everyone on this team esp the qb Philio, the whole o line and backfield, and everyone associated with this team to catch a1ds and every terrible dis33ase u trash rigging fa6s
Louisville-Florida State. Florida State-Louisville. The Derp Off:
I can’t even describe what we saw Friday between FSU and Norville. It was a coaching malpractice clinic; Brohm shitting down his leg the first half; Norvell all-but esnuring he gets fired with an even worse second. Everyone melted down. And for good reason.
Down 14-0 with a defense that literally couldn’t stop Central High school and we try the 55 yard field goal??? Is Jeff Brohm a moron? Honest question. wtf are we doing???
Jeff Brohm out here doing Gods work. Saving all these Head Coaches Job by bein ass.
Jeff Brohm kicking a 54-yard field goal on 4th and 4 with his team down 14-0 is a choice.
WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO JUST NOT GO SHOTGUN
Jeff Brohm schemes for one game per season and I guess this one wasn’t it.
this team fucking reeks
Hope the coaching staff chokes on each other and perish at halftime. All at the same time.
Recruit white kids for defense the blacks can’t play
Fat spastic retarded fags
That was, without a doubt, one of the halves of football
we criticize him, but what are you going to miss the least about this coach? For me it’s going to be him looking confused while crouching on the sideline, like a scared dog doing his business
Fun fact: both these teams have primary logos with teeth. Only one of them should have teeth.
Save me, Iowa @ Washington. I think I need a pallette cleanse of bad quarterback play from Demond to take away the taste of the bad quarterback play from Ashton Daniels
Duce Robinson really left a bad USC just to go to the East Coast version of a bad USC
these are two fanbases that have been hurt before and are prepared to be hurt again.
Should’ve ate the dog shit.
Norvell is really sporting the smedium shirt. Those armpits are gonna be so chafed.
Just kick 3 you dick sucking faggot fucks. Fire Norvell stupid mfer doesn’t know how to WIN a football game. Embarrassing
Fuck k you Norvell
Your fucking gone you sorry ass piece of shit
Sorry bye bye ….enjoy your 50 fucking million dollar payoff you fucking Antichrist fucking sub human pig ass piece of fucking shit.
Mike Norvell looks like he wears Hoka shoes and gets full off a couple Dino Nuggets.
This house is a fucking prison! On planet bullshit! In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks!
Gotta find the positives. The defense only gave up 397 rushing yards. Could’ve easily been 400 yards.
Is this the official page ?? Please somebody call the fucking dean .. I want to throw up
Hope the team plane crashes
The advantage of a Norvell coached team is it doesn’t even hurt when you get embarrassed. You just laugh and wonder if he might actually get fired this time! That mystery is addicting. Very cool.
FSU would owe Norvell 45 million fucking dollars if they fire home tonight. That’s like half a jimbo right?
That random fan painted up like a cardinal might be able to hold Brown to fewer rushing yards than FSU has
I’m really excited to see Daniels on this one. I’m thinking pick six or maybe comical strip sack. Edit: Was wrong only regular pick.
I’m drunk and my wife’s pit bull is trying to push me off the couch and it’s working. It’s still not as pathetic as fsu.
Yeah we aren’t winning another game lol
Row Tahd
Alabama fans did not meltdown over the game so much as they melted down about officiating, and in particular one player, Dijon Lee. It wasn’t very fertile ground TBH. But there were a few unhinged ones in there, and one or two that made me chortle.
Some of these are teams also covered in Tuesday’s meltdowns; some are standalone one-shot meltdowns; some are overflow meltdowns. But these were just some of the ones that caught my eye on Saturday.
We’ll start with some minimelts by Penn State and LSU (and we have plenty more LSU coming tomorrow):
PSU
50 recruits at the game and none of them are going to want to play here, fucking ridiculous.
The top-5 highest attended games in Beaver Stadium history have all been losses.
Penn state fans: if this reaches you’re timeline, which I’m sure it won’t because I have like 30 followers, but I want yall to know, I’m sorry for ever thinking yall were crazy for wanting James Franklin gone. He’s terrible. His teams are poorly coached. He’s bad. BAD.
And this is what Penn State fans were trying to tell Virginia Tech fans about James Franklin
My team fucking sucks. How’s that? They blow literal chunks. Complete booty. Fraud. Ass. WE ARE!
Michigan-Penn State: At least one of us has to win next week!
Really though James Franklin was bad. Yikes Matt Campbell is a retard
Team played their heart out. Anyone chirping Campbell or the team, see me personally and I will break ur fucking jaw
I thought Campbell was a retard. But today was the first Nebraska game I’ve fully watched in years. I have regrets.
The defense is the perfect trifecta, they can’t shed blocks, they can’t tackle, and they can’t cover.
Clobbered again by scrubs
We want Campbell to manage a elite football program and he can’t even manage timeouts.
Eastern Iowa State football is a failure
Don’t care. Bring James Franklin back.
I’m glad my grandfather isn’t around to watch this disaster.
Eat my cock!
When will the suffering end?
—
Through nine offensive drives, Marcel has completed 42.9% of his passes for 41 total yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs. It’s not that I think his backup is good, it’s that it’s almost statistically impossible for him to be worse.
I've made some bad decisions in my life. I'm not sure which one is the worst, but hitting "Submit" on Oregon-UCLA Over 58.5 is definitely in the running for the top spot.
Impressive. Very reminiscent of the Curly Hallman years. The team, the school and the students should be embarrassed.
Any player that doesnt feel like practicing tomorrow or running the levee for an hour should just look elsewhere. Be a loser at another school. NIL = crap play.
never go to war with a douche like Leavitt Quarterbacks should be able to throw it (to their teammates) once in a while.
Wonder who we play in the mayo bowl?
FIRE THE RETARDED SCARRY ASS BITCH COACH WHO COULDNT GO FOR 4th & 1 FIRE THE BITCH ASS LANE COACH
I knew hiring kiffin was a mistake..
Season over and deserved. LSU cowards.
This year was supposed to be to be different, different year, different coach, same results
Now the whole SEC is laughing at you, Lane. Next time actually prepare your team to play and see what happens.
Shit the bed every time you go on the road, and people notice.
YOU GUYS FUCKING SUCK!!!! LSU FAN HERE, THIS IS FUCKING EMBARRASSING YOU PIECES OF SHIT!!!! GIVING UP 35 POINTS TO KENTUCKY?!?! THERE GOES OUR CFP CHANCES YOU SHIT STAINS!!!!
We continue to be impressed by the quality of meltdowns in Seattle. Once again, Demond Williams was awful and Jedd’s offense was uninspired, as the Hawkeyes went scorched earth on the Huskies. Because the Doogs defense also did not show up. Midway through year three, the natives are restless.
Watching us celebrate that touchdown, as time expires, to lose by 17 was pretty comical
Amazing how just 2.5 years removed from a title game appearance we’ve reverted to a poverty program again
This is DeBoer’s fault
West Coast Rutgers
You cannot let iowa do that and still take yourself seriously.
The extra chromosome that the offense just showed is all I need to see of the Jedd Fische era! Blow it up and get rid of this idiot ASAP
I bounced. Not getting rained on for these bums
Demond Williams jr should give every retard hope that they too can play d1 ball and make $4m
Give all this team’s money to the soccer programs
Bow down to our corn overlords
playing defense like you’re still in the pac 12 is a choice.
I’m drunk. Fuck all these guys. I’m going to bed.
Demond please we need to get a third down! We’ve only gotten 2 third downs against B1G teams!
I’m not mad. Please don’t put in the newspaper that I got mad
These boos would make Philly fans proud
Unplayable, unwatchable and completely absurd.
Celebrating a first down when down by 23 is a choice young man
Stinky poo poo
The PAC-12 died for this. Nice job
FIRE JEDD FISCH FIRE PAT CHUN FIRE RYAN WALTERS SEND DEMOND TO THE SHADOW REALM, I don’t deserve this 😔
#WPS
The Vawls and the Hawgs set football back three decades yesterday, and in the great derp-off it was Ryan Silverfield who gave the game away: He punted with 1:46 left at the Hogs 40, trailing UT 24-17.
And there was some pure, well-deserved ranting that followed.
Not going for it on 4th down under 2 minutes was legitimately retarded. Fire everybody.
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY STATE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
Worse than Morris officially. This should have been at least a moral victory but nah we got a coach whos a loser and hes scared
Can we get a refund on our tickets for the rest of the year? Bought them under the assumption the team would try to win.
Holy shit. Ummm does coach know what the fuck he is doing?
Typical Arkansas Football. I’m not even mad anymore. All I can do is laugh at this mess now, cause they always let you down at the end.
Arkansas is the reason I do drugs
running on 3rd and 10 when your only good offensive player is a receiver, and not even trying on 4th down is malpractice.
Who fuckin runs on 3rd and 10 at midfield with two minutes left down a score?
AND SOME OF Y’ALL WANT TO GIVE THESE ASS CLOWNS MORE TIME?!?
We continue to find new and different ways to be infuriating and embarrassing
Gay person: “I’m gay” Autistic person: “I’m autistic” Gay and Autistic person: “Hi, I’m Ryan Silverfield and I’m the head coach of the Arkansas razorbacks”
Will Stein is making less than fuckass Ryan Silverfield by the way
We’ll be back Tuesday with our regular Meltdown. I’m giving this as an early treat to y’all instead of an SEC Power Poll, because there were just so damn many tasty, bitter losses this weekend to celebrate.
So, revel in the misfortunes of others (and ourselves), even as we know we are one bad game away from being featured on these pages…and pray to Footnball Loki we’re not on this page again next week. #fUT.
I’m Erik and I help run this place. Decade-plus editor/editor in chief at SBNation’s Roll ‘Bama. Lawya by day. Recovering black metal musician. Member AP, FWAA, USBWA. Voter: Maxwell, Outland, Nagurski, Outland and others. It’s not racist if it’s funny.
I pray everyone on this team esp the qb Philio, the whole o line and backfield, and everyone associated with this team to catch a1ds and every terrible dis33ase u trash rigging fa6s
Tell me how you really feel.
Jeff Brohm schemes for one game per season and I guess this one wasn’t it.
Gotta find the positives. The defense only gave up 397 rushing yards. Could’ve easily been 400 yards.
These made me laugh a little too hard this morning.
Dijon Lee DMs finna look like the 1960’s
Demond Williams jr should give every retard hope that they too can play d1 ball and make $4m
See, meltdowns can be positive.
Gay person: “I’m gay” Autistic person: “I’m autistic” Gay and Autistic person: “Hi, I’m Ryan Silverfield and I’m the head coach of the Arkansas razorbacks”
I’m too pissed for this TBH. The only palate cleanser I need is to stomp an Alaska sized trash can orange mudhole in Neyland so it the neighborhood it’s in the middle of.
I thought y’all could use a palate cleanser.
Okay, against all odds, this cheered me up some. This is so much better than the RBR Meltdown ever was. Thank you, Erkevnz.
thank you very much, sir, and I’m glad it cheered you up some
Tell me how you really feel.
These made me laugh a little too hard this morning.
Quality.
The 1960s post was from a black guy. Another black dude said “Saban would make Dijon spend the night in a sundown town.” LOL.
That makes it even funnier haha.
i hope Washington and Arkansas keep losing. They bring choice meltdown every week.
but this was my favorite, courtesy of LSU Fan:
Yes, yes you have.
I’m too pissed for this TBH. The only palate cleanser I need is to stomp an Alaska sized trash can orange mudhole in Neyland so it the neighborhood it’s in the middle of.
This is proper hate.
There’s room in my heart for both
That Golden tweet was
Only came to the comments to make sure that tweet was getting the proper recognition. That person won the internet this week.