WAKE UP! THERE’S FOOTBALL TO WATCH!
Okay, sleep in then, if you insist. It’s ‘Bama’s bye week, so we can sit back and watch Football Loki come for everyone else, content in the knowledge that on this day, Alabama shall be undefeated. It’s actually a fairly light week if you’re looking for meaningful games, so it’s a great Saturday to get some errands done if you’re so inclined.
And now on to Week 9. Here’s your schedule, courtesy of CFB Grid. All times in God’s right and proper Central time zone — and if it were Standard time, it would be perfect.
Must See TV
No. 22 Arizona @ No. 13 Texas Tech: What would make last week’s Tech loss even funnier? To watch them do it again. At home. To this Arizona team. The AP may have been sleeping on the Wildcats, but the data have not. On a neutral field, UA would be favored. One of your rare national broadcasts of Fifita too; catch him if you’ve never seen him (despite being in Tucson for four years).
No. 6 Utah @ Cincinnati: Surely not, right? Surely the Bearcats can’t knock off two Top 10 B12 teams in a row at home, right? This is by far the biggest challenge the Utes have faced, andd they’re traveling two time zones to face it. In a big day for the Big 12, perhaps the most important one of the afternoon.
No. 25 Wisconsin @ Iowa: Old school rivalry. Old school football. This is a MANBALL-only zone of big uglies battling in the trenches for precious few yards, lots of tasteful punting, and improbably-good white tight ends. This is the most Big 10 of all Big 10 games.
No. 2 Ohio State @ USC: “Wanna’ see a dead body?” After Saturday night, you can. Air Raid vs. OSU’s quintessential pro-form brutal efficiency is great contrast, and all that talent on the field, man. There will probably be 200 NFL scouts on hand. Besides, what else are you gonna’ watch?
Need some winners for Week 8? We’ve got you covered over at Giving Away Money.
Throw It On The Spare TV:
No. 17 Florida v No. 3 UGA: Why is the Cocktail Party down here? Because, for all the acrimony, it’s rarely a good game. It’s usually sloppy, ugly, lots of penalties, and it’s been full of blowouts. I genuinely can’t recall the last good UF/UGA game I watched.
No. 1 Miami @ UNC: This is the first football-like substance the ‘Canes have faced since Wake Forest. Hostile night game against a team with a good secondary? The Demon Deacons were able to bottle up Darian Mensah; can the Heels finish the job and knock Mario off his perch at the top of the rankings? Bill Belichick is still a dangerous foe.
Auburn @ Ole Miss: If you insist…or you just love watching Auburn lose. And they will — perhaps badly too.
Minnesota @ No. 4 Indiana: The Gophers are one of the most stubbornly persistent underdogs in the B1G. Though they’re far more dangerous at home than on the road, I don’t know that they get blown out in Bloomington necessarily either.
Army @ Memphis: Another one of those great contrast games. The nation’s No. 1 rushing team vs. the No. 13 passing offense. Should be a banger.
Commercial Break Check-In:
Clemson @ Florida State: The loser is almost certainly going to be fired (or will resign) at year’s end. The most must-win of all must-win games of the week for both coaches.
No. 11 Texas vs. Mississippi State: Surely the Kamario-less Bulldogs won’t put up much of a tussle, right? Sark has loss to less talented teams than this one, and despite last week’s win, Arch still had three turnovers for the ‘Horns.
Unwatchable Filth:
South Carolina @ Oklahoma:
If there’s a game out there with more at stake for the coaches than Clemson/FSU, it’s this one. And this folly of terrible football is exacerbated by the epic clash of John Mateer vs. LaNorris Sellers, in a duel of LOLcow proportions. It’s going to be physical. It’s going to be competitive. But it sure as hell isn’t going to be good football.
That’s it for Week 9. We’ll see you over at the GumpStream for our Bye Week open thread.
Have a great day, and Roll Tide
“if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing the Reich way.”
—TITS, probably.
Oh look, the Third comment.
shouldn’t that be “drei?”
You’re reich again, you crazy basterd.
I was gonna join in, but you guys kinda blitzkrieg’d it.
on a tangential note the comments from the Atlanta Falcons throwback logo kerfluffle a couple weeks ago were hilarious.
NGL “The Bird Reich” is pretty damn good.
Bird Reich was the best one. But I probably spent an hour in the tub, soaking in a bubble bath, giggling like a schoolgirl.
people really are clever
Imma go out on a limb and say “Texas at home”… 😉
About two weeks ago I installed a plug-in that lets me just clone posts as a template. You would not believe how long formatting takes. Something like giving away money is easily 45 minutes or so. And the meltdown is longer. That can take us two hours.
sometimes I forget to change the poll, because it’s just one line of code
please note that “editor” on the masthead is doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting with respect to me
Lol, I figured it was something along those lines. Just couldn’t resist having a little fun. Mad props for all your work, I know I speak for many others when I say it is tremendously appreciated!
Took the under on OU vs So Car.
Me too. I also took under on Iowa-Wisconsin — and it was ABSURDLY low (36.5). That game probably ends 13-10ish.
Oklahoma is complete dogshit. Even the defense.